For the last month or so, I've been running into people with whom I used to work last year, and I keep getting the same question: "How's the new job?" My answers vary depending on who's asking, and the more negative the answer the more I feel I have to justify myself. Here on my blog, however, anonymity allows me to express my true feelings about my new assignment.
We're about two months into the school year, and already it feels like an eternity. In fact, I mentioned to my principal yesterday that I was bored--I'm used to a much more hectic schedule, a more populated student body, and the type of issues you can only find in a high school. Since he's from the same background as I, he knew exactly what I was talking about and shared that this time last year (his first year here) he felt the exact same way.
My wife still teaches at my former site, so I still get the gossip and updates. I even visited the site two weeks ago for a teacher's birthday party, and saw a lot of my former colleagues. I have to stop doing that, though, for two reasons: one, it's difficult to respond over and over to "we miss you" from everyone, and two, it's emotionally very painful for me to be away from that campus. I've got to learn to let go and move on, and I'm finding that harder and harder to do.
I've also got this other problem: my "high school" muscles are starting to atrophy to the point that if I were to be moved back up to the high school level, I fear I'd be out of shape. Then I go off on these mental rants: "Should I get back to the high school level even if it means starting over in a new district?" "Is it all middle school level schools that bother me, or just this one site?" "Should I get out of education altogether?"
In the end, the answer to the initial question is: "I'm uncomfortable." I don't know if it's because I became so familiar with my previous school site, or if I'm a snob (more on that in an upcoming blog post), or if I'm just very unsuited to change. Whatever the reason, I'm very uncomfortable in my professional skin right now.