I told my fiancee (via an e-mail to her classroom across campus) that if one more person came into my office and said, "Whoa, it's really bare in here!" I was gonna punch him or her right in the nose. She suggested that I post a sign outside, and even wrote one up as an example. Knowing I couldn't come up with anything better, here's what it says:
Come see the
AMAZING EMPTY OFFICE!
THRILL to the sight of a CLEAN DESK!
EXPOSTULATE over BARE SHELVES!
WONDER where it all went!
50 cents a peek.
You don't want to miss it!
I've collected two quarters so far, and no one else has said anything to my face.